Avoidance Behavior 101

Categories: Relationship Advice
Comments: 5 Comments
Published on: November 15, 2010

Avoiding Intimacy? Avoidance Behavior 101

It’s so easy to spot someone who is avoiding intimacy.  Or is it?

Most of us think of avoidance as an outright refusal to participate in an activity or endeavor.  But if we really take a look at avoidance, we find it can be cloaked so many ways.

We make ourselves busy.  We surround ourselves with others and delve into their lives. We “work”.  We over commit.  We get too tired.  We get too wired.  We travel.  We get sick.  These are clever techniques to avoid the things that matter at home.

Exploring the world is a wonderful thing, but there’s no place like home, and if we do not do the work to maintain a healthy foundation with our partner, some day we may come home and find our cozy nest empty; even if our partner is physically there.

Avoiding that which makes us uncomfortable is human, and as we mature, we tend to get more creative in how we avoid confrontation.  So, lover beware.  Be careful not to let too much time go by without stopping to check in with your partner.  Set private time aside each week for each other.  Share your thoughts and ask your partner about theirs.  Listen.  Shut off the phone for a few hours.  Bond.

Making time for yourself and your partner is just as important as keeping your professional associations and commitments, so be mindful when creating your mental list of priorities.  Remember, at the end of the day you can’t hug your job.

Yours in the Tao,


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5 Comments - Leave a comment
  1. Stephen Frost says:

    Great article Sarina! See this kind of activity and behaviour so much, in many ways it is sad as the warmth brought by love makes living so worthwhile. Be good to know more people were picking up on this and doing so self reflection on their lives to create more joy!
    Thanks for sharing and keep the good work coming!
    Stephen 🙂

  2. Sarina Stone says:

    Thanks, Stephen. Coming from a pro like you, that’s huge.

  3. Amanda Fox says:

    I don’t claim to be an expert in the field, but I do see some inconsistencies in your argument. I do, however, appreciate the fact that you took the time and effeort to write about this complex topic. Thank you.

  4. Łomża Pullian says:

    It’s super site, I was looking for something like this

  5. Fish Oil says:

    On the first date people are expected to know whether you found your soul-mate. There is a lot of expectation put on today to meet certain requirements from one date.

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